Rebecca Berry

ARTICLES AND NEWSLETTERS

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My first newsletter on 16 December 2022

Speaking (and hearing) truth to power

Speaking and hearing truth to power can be an intimidating business on both sides. Here's some ideas about how to approach it.

When fundamental truths aren't so fundamental

How much can we trust about what we think we know about our fellow humans? Not much, as it turns out...

When empathy isn't available

Empathy is at the heart of understanding and supporting those around us. But we can't always empathise - so what then?

Why you should stop asking why (and what to ask instead)

I've spent the last few years actively trying not to ask 'why?'. It's had a big impact on the quality of my conversations - and my relationships.

The art of (not) interrupting

Hello everyone

Welcome to the Inclusion Coach newsletter! Every week, I round up all my Inclusion Coach content and add some extra musings that I don't share anywhere else.

This week's content

I reflect on the P word….

… some great new inclusion questions I learned from Chris Armstrong…

… a new insight on safe spaces, also from Chris Armstrong…

… intersectionality explained in last week’s Inclusion Coach video…

… a controversial point about Missing White Woman Syndrome. Some people felt that it was insensitive given how topical it was, which I totally respect, but from my perspective its topicality was kind of the point…

… tips on inclusive language in this week’s Inclusion Coach video…

… uneasy thoughts on how women choose to present themselves and its link to Male Gaze Theory…

… and five tips on sponsoring an employee network.

Extra musings

This week’s musings are on the art of interrupting. Or, more precisely, the art of not interrupting!

Full disclosure: I’m a recovering interrupter. I’ve never been great at finding the right moment to get involved in a conversation, which is doubly difficult on video calls. So I used to talk over people, then keep talking until they shut up.

Training as a coach taught me to listen more and interrupt far, far less. In fact, I’m so good at not interrupting now that I sometimes find myself at the end of a meeting having said nothing, despite having lots to contribute.

Although I find it tricky to find the right moment to chime in on a video team meeting, it’s easily rectified. I use the ‘hands up’ function or contribute my thoughts in the chat.

In a room, it’s much harder. I listen actively and open my mouth to speak, then someone else jumps in and takes the conversation in another direction. It doesn’t matter, particularly. I can contribute my thoughts later on when I’ve had chance to reflect on everything that was said.

Facilitating conversations is another matter entirely - I'm in my element! I can guide the discussion, make sure that everyone is heard, and contribute my own points of value at an appropriate time.

So to my fellow non-interrupters:

On video calls, use the functions available to play your part in the conversation.
In a room, start with ‘may I interrupt?’, then relax and don’t worry about interrupting. You’re in the meeting for a reason (if not, why are you there?!) and your perspective is valuable.
Before the discussion gets underway, open a conversation about ensuring that everyone has the opportunity to contribute.

To those who don’t have difficulty making their point during discussions:

Be mindful of others in the meeting and notice who isn’t speaking much
When it feels like the conversation is moving on, ask if anyone else has a contribution to make before taking it to the next topic
If you find yourself repeating a point you made earlier, stop talking and ask if anyone else has a perspective on that point

That’s it for this week - see you next time!